Decision
(tea-time of the gods, part 3)
(tea-time of the gods, part 3)
* * *
Topgod and
Fate sit side by side on rocks at the top of a pointy mountain, a place chosen
for its panoramic view of an absence of humans, for although the cries and
ringing hammer-blows of the climbers working their way up the rocks form a
melodious reminder of the human presence, few come to the actual summit; if any
do, they tend to shy off, for they feel the presence of the supernatural even
though they are unable to see it.
Fate has
just relayed to Topgod the shocking request of Godlet Gamma that he should
become a human, to share the human experience, especially the knowledge of his
own mortality; and his even more insane motive – a wish to undo some of the
harm he has wrought during his time as overseer of Terra
.
Somewhere below,
Godlet Gamma himself is reclining halfway up Easy Ridge, from which he can
watch the action on Impossible Wall, clearly no longer impossible for there are
two hard men hammering in pitons, slowly ascending what looks to be a totally
smooth section of vertical rock; over to their right two teenagers are
following a faintly worried geography teacher up a rather less smooth and
vertical section, amid a tangled mess of rope; the geographer (whom his
parents, the Doolittles, had twenty-six years previously named Will, to the later
sniggers of his pupils) is right to be worried, for his pupils are far more
interested in a riveting piece of information about deviant sexual practices recently
revealed to them than in staying alive. Their merry voices float across: “and
he shoves this light-bulb so far up his mumble
mumble snigger…”
The godlet longs
to join them, for he is entranced by the sheer music of it all: the rhythmic
ringing of the hammers, the ostinato of the mumble-snigger, the occasional
tenor call of Mr Doolittle “For-god-sake
pay at-TEN-tion, Godfrey” are simultaneously a pleasure to the hearing and an
apparent call to his very own self: they cannot possibly know that he is there,
but it is as if they somehow feel his
presence, as if he is a kind of torch illuminating the murk of their …
But these
musings are cut short by a summons from above, and Godlet Gamma swiftly rises
to the summit, suddenly aware that perhaps his future has now been decided.
Fate has
brought oatcakes and manchego and a bottle of Glenmorangie, and offers Gamma
refreshment. “I couldn’t find any of that frog you brought last time, but this
is nearly as good, and easier to pronounce.”
“Or” chips
in Topgod “you might want to stick to just nectar and ambrosia and keep a clear
head till you’ve decided.”
Godlet Gamma
is struck immediately by the change in Topgod’s speech-patterns: he has given
up capitals and “thou”. What can this mean? a significant change in his thinking?
Is there hope?
And then
another thing strikes him: “till you’ve
decided” is what Topgod said. So it is to be his, Gamma’s, decision. Yes! He’ll
be human, he’ll be mortal, he’ll have an experience no other entity has ever
known! He will be Unique.
But they are
gazing at him with – could it be pity?
surely not?
“So, Gamma, I
believe you want to be human? To experience death and fear? This is not just
some obscure godlet joke?” Topgod sniffed the Glenmorangie fumes with a little
grunt of pleasure. “Remind me of your reasons, leaving out the bit about
undoing harm – you know fine that harm can’t be undone – let’s have the real
reason.”
Gamma is
taken aback. He had hoped that undoing harm would cut some ice, win approval
for his project. Surely it is at least arguable (and shows him in a good
light)?
“But for
example I could organise a disease that would wipe out, say, 90% of humans, and
the overpopulation problem would go away.”
Topgod sighs
and tries to remain patient. “You did that a while back, with the help of our
good friend Rat, and how well did that work, long-term? You could try it again.
there’s no need to be mortal to do that. Come on, cut out the faff, tell us
what you really want.”
“Um …” Gamma
searches for the words that will convey his longing. “You see, I’ve watched and
listened, maybe more than I was supposed to.” Pause.
Glug, crunch, mmm was all the comment he heard.
“And I see
how nasty their lives are a lot of the time, and what a lot of suffering they
have to put up with, but then I see that there are times when they experience
pleasure and satisfaction that seems to go way beyond anything that I’ve ever
felt – like these guys here fumbling about on this little piece of rock, see
how hard they have to work to do something that a goat or cat or beetle would
have no trouble with, if it wanted to, but look what enjoyment they get from
doing this totally useless thing.” He pauses to collect his thoughts.
“And then,”
he goes on, hesitatingly, sensing neither approval nor dissent from his
listeners (are they actually listening?),
“then there is the music. Ah, the music, I can’t get it out of my head, I need
more. Just the other day, deedle-deedle-pom-pom,
deedle-deedle-pompitty, magnificent, makes me want to dance!” He does a
little dance and croaks out a little song to illustrate the splendour of the
human achievement.
Down there
on Impossible Wall Godfrey asks Mr Doolittle “Hey, Doolittle, that croaking
noise, is that you (snigger)?” and Mr
Doolittle replies, with well-concealed hatred in his heart, “Oh, that’s just the
raven, it has a nest in the next gully to the west, it’s always floating about
here, watching.”
Fate and
Topgod look at each other, questions in their eyes. Fate says, “So is that it,
Gamma, pleasure, song, dance – is that the lot?”
“Deedle-deedle-pompitty – sorry! No, one
other thing. I feel that a lot of the pleasure and music is because they know
that one day they won’t be alive any longer. These guys here, for instance,
they could fall off any minute and be killed, there’s something there that I
want, no, I need to feel. So I need to be mortal.”
Gamma thinks
he’s probably just messed up, they won’t understand, how can they? a while
back, he wouldn’t have had any idea … until he’d heard de-de-de-DUM … but Topgod is standing up Usually that means he’s decided.
“Thank you
for a most interesting explanation, Gamma,” begins Topgod, approval in his stance
(on one leg, scratching his ear, good sign). “Fate and I have discussed it
thoroughly.”
And terribly quickly! thinks Gamma, and wonders if they’ve
even listened … but of course Time is different for entities of that grade.
“And we
think it best to give you a choice.”
Ah, success! deedle-deedle …
“Becoming
mortal yourself is unfortunately not an option at present,” awww! “because we are not made of stuff,
and can’t be transferred across to things made of stuff, at least not yet;
there may come a time when it can be done, there are entities working on it, so
don’t lose hope.” ahhh!
“Here’s what
we can offer: either you can live here with the humans permanently, but you
will remain invisible to them, and you will have no power to alter things, no
power at all. And of course you cannot die, but the day may come when transfer
to being mortal becomes possible, and you would be first on the list.”
A pause,
while Gamma digests this idea. Down below, Godfrey is getting bored, he has run
out of sexual-deviance stories and is thirsty, for the day is warm. “Eh, Doolittle,
you got any Irn-Bru?” “No, it’s down in the car.” “Fuxek, what good is it
there?” Not for the first time Will Doolittle reflects how much he would like
to clip Godfrey round the earhole and how swiftly he would be out of a job …
but at least they are near the top.
“Or you
could do another job,” continues Topgod, “while you wait for the transfer technology
to become workable. There’s a planet in Alpha Centauri where life forms have
emerged that are beginning to need overseeing. And we feel that with your intense
experience on Terra, you are exactly the right entity to do this. A timely forward
push for them, a new opportunity for you to use your skills. What do you think?”
Will Doolittle
brings Godfrey and Jeremy to the top, unties himself from the rope and says, “We
need to go to the summit, we want to tick it off in our Munro list.”
“Nah,” says
Godfrey “fuk the summit, we’ll wait here.” “Right, sort out the rope, back in a
minute,” and off strides Doolittle, sped on a wave of relief. “Hey, Jezzer, got
any fags on ya?” “Aye, Gozzer, mebbe somewhere,” Jeremy pats his pockets.
Gamma is
torn between despair and hope: on the one hand … on the other … so many
questions. “How much time can I have to think about it?”
“All the
time you want, no hurry,“ says Fate, but I think we should go elsewhere now,
for I see some humans are finished their climb, and one of them is heading this
way. Pack the food and drink away, would you, Gamma?”
Will Doolittle
is racing across the ground, so glad to be away from Godfrey and Jeremy that he
notices nothing until he bumps into … something, SOME THING, nothing he can see or touch, but a huge energy and power
that fills him with a terror that unhinges his brain and brings the taste of
ash to his mouth; he turns and runs, blindly, seeing nothing … straight over
the edge and down into the gully where the raven wheels and croaks.
“Oh dear, I
wonder why he was going so fast, what a pity, I must write it up”, says Fate,
as they shimmer off on their huge leathery wings.
“That was
our fault, I feel guilty, what a pity,” moans Godlet Gamma.
“Nobody’s
fault. Stuff happens,” says Topgod. “Come on, Gamma, find us some more of that
great cheese …”
“Fuxek,”
Godfrey mutters through a cloud of fragrant smoke, “what got into old Doolittle?
What’re we supposed to do now?”
“Climb down,
I suppose, down’s got to be easier than up, and we’re roped together, we’ll be
fine. The Irn-Bru’s down there in the car. C’mon, Gozzer, you go first, I’ll
hold the rope.” On the way up he hadn’t noticed the bit about getting tied on
to something that wouldn’t give way.
Godfrey, whose
athletic dexterity far outshines his verbal ability, is nearly at the end of
the rope before one foot slides off a little round knob at the moment when he is
feeling around for something to hold on to. Quite gracefully, he peels off, and
Jeremy, who is standing at the edge trying to see down, and who has not tied
himself to anything, is plucked over the edge.
Down they
whirr, and a faint Fuxek! floats up
the gully mingling musically with the raven’s croak.
The hard men
barely need discussion: swiftly they decide that this is not a day for doing
difficult when easy is available, swiftly they traverse to the right where a
series of big safe holds takes them to the top, where they share a calming fag.
Drifting
away, Fate asks Topgod, very quietly, “This life form on the Alpha Centauri
planet, what sort of a thing is it?”
“Oh, it’s
like a huge sea-slug. Most fascinating, lots of varieties, great colours. No
music as yet, but probably Gamma’ll sort something out before long.”
Faintly from
far, far off, comes a croaking that could be the call of another raven but is
in fact the song of Godlet Gamma in victory mode: deedle-deedle-pom-pom, deedle-deedle-pompitty, de-de-de-DUM! DUM! DUM!
*
* *